Saturday, April 23, 2016

Win a Boyfriend Brownies

Here's the scenerio: Cute boy. You want to date him.
Follow my simple, non-customized and over generalized "Win a Boyfriend" plan! This will only cost you a couple bucks, some blood, sweat, tears, and possibly frustration. This plan works! I have won about 34,581 boyfriends from these brownies. 

(Disclaimer: this is a lie. I've actually never won a boyfriend from this recipe- but whatevs)

Okay so here's what you do. First, shoot him a text and tell him you had some spare time so you figured you'd just whip something up in the kitchen real quick (this will make you seem domestic AF). Secondly, tell him you made extras so it's no big deal to just drop some off at his house! (He doesn't have to know you purposely doubled the batch).

Boom, Immediate invite to come over. Not only do you get to have an encounter with him, but you'll blow his socks off with how impressive you are in the kitchen! (;  If he says no to this invitation, he is either 1) gay. 2) actually busy or 3) not worth your time. I've never had a guy turn it down, so you shouldn't have a problem, if you do.., IDK SOS, you're on your own! If you're thinking, "wait I lack those baking skills...", don't you fret. This recipe is fool proof and bound to work! Dump those doubts and win a boyfriend!

First you start out making the basic brownie batter. Melt butter in a glass bowl, add sugar and mix. Next add cocoa and eggs. Continue to stir in flour, salt, baking soda, and vanilla. This will be a really thick batter. That's okay!

Spread evenly into a greased 9x13 inch glass pan.

Next, mix up the cream cheese marbling (aka the best part that sets you apart from all those other basic bitches who just use a box mix and think that will get them anywhere in life). You'll start by beating the cream cheese. Next add the sugar, salt and vanilla and beat until smooth. Make sure there are no lumps.

Drop cream cheese topping onto brownie batter and use a knife to swirl it in. After this looks excellent and girlfriend material, sprinkle some chocolate chips over the top just to make yourself look better than you actually are. Make sure you find that fine line between "just right" and "trying to hard"
actually screw it
If you're looking at this recipe with the motive to actually do this, you are trying to hard. But that's okay (':

Cream Cheese Brownies

1 cup butter
2 cups sugar
4 heaping tablespoons cocoa powder
4 eggs
2 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla

Cream Cheese Swirl:
1 8 ounce block cream cheese
1/2 cup sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 egg

Bake at 350 degrees for 25-35 minutes. Wait until cool to cut into squares, then deliver to all the hotties. Best of luck!(:

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Shane's Wilderness Cookies

I recently had the opportunity to go backpacking in Southern Utah. I went with some family and friends and it was remarkable. We saw some incredible Indian Ruins and shared many laughs. Some highlights of the trip were as follows: 

- cheap motels
-sitting in dirt
-Caputo's Olive oil and dipping bread
-Clint's Barbarian Quotes. Such as "Speaking of, my ex wife was exactly like Satan!" and "I'm telling you buddy, we are going to be such great friends if you can get me deals"
-Shane's cookies  

When it comes to backpacking, quality meals are slim and far between. You can pack so many cup-o-noodles and can only take so much tuna before you really crave good, homecooked food.

Shane saved the day on this trip. He is quite the high class diner and he won't let the wilderness stop him. He decided he would whip up a batch of these hearty, durable, yet delicious cookies before our trip. 

They are super easy to make and lasted the whole three days. They tasted fresh and they filled you up. You just start with a basic oatmeal cookie dough. For convenience sake, Shane opted for a pre-measured Betty Crocker Oatmeal Cookie Mix. After mixing that up according to package directions, you add coconut flakes, chocolate chips, and a heaping amount of chopped walnuts.  Boy are these cookies delicious. 

The recipe is as follows

1 Oatmeal Cookie Mix (mix according to package)
1/2 cup chocolate chips
1/4 cup shredded coconut flakes
3/4 cup walnuts 

Mix all the ingredients in a bowl and scoop out onto a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes. Let cool completely before putting in a plastic bag and packing. 

Happy Camping!