Saturday, April 23, 2016

Win a Boyfriend Brownies



Here's the scenerio: Cute boy. You want to date him.
Follow my simple, non-customized and over generalized "Win a Boyfriend" plan! This will only cost you a couple bucks, some blood, sweat, tears, and possibly frustration. This plan works! I have won about 34,581 boyfriends from these brownies. 

(Disclaimer: this is a lie. I've actually never won a boyfriend from this recipe- but whatevs)

Okay so here's what you do. First, shoot him a text and tell him you had some spare time so you figured you'd just whip something up in the kitchen real quick (this will make you seem domestic AF). Secondly, tell him you made extras so it's no big deal to just drop some off at his house! (He doesn't have to know you purposely doubled the batch).

Boom, Immediate invite to come over. Not only do you get to have an encounter with him, but you'll blow his socks off with how impressive you are in the kitchen! (;  If he says no to this invitation, he is either 1) gay. 2) actually busy or 3) not worth your time. I've never had a guy turn it down, so you shouldn't have a problem, if you do.., IDK SOS, you're on your own! If you're thinking, "wait I lack those baking skills...", don't you fret. This recipe is fool proof and bound to work! Dump those doubts and win a boyfriend!

First you start out making the basic brownie batter. Melt butter in a glass bowl, add sugar and mix. Next add cocoa and eggs. Continue to stir in flour, salt, baking soda, and vanilla. This will be a really thick batter. That's okay!

Spread evenly into a greased 9x13 inch glass pan.

Next, mix up the cream cheese marbling (aka the best part that sets you apart from all those other basic bitches who just use a box mix and think that will get them anywhere in life). You'll start by beating the cream cheese. Next add the sugar, salt and vanilla and beat until smooth. Make sure there are no lumps.



Drop cream cheese topping onto brownie batter and use a knife to swirl it in. After this looks excellent and girlfriend material, sprinkle some chocolate chips over the top just to make yourself look better than you actually are. Make sure you find that fine line between "just right" and "trying to hard"
actually screw it
If you're looking at this recipe with the motive to actually do this, you are trying to hard. But that's okay (':



Cream Cheese Brownies

Brownies:
1 cup butter
2 cups sugar
4 heaping tablespoons cocoa powder
4 eggs
2 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla

Cream Cheese Swirl:
1 8 ounce block cream cheese
1/2 cup sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 egg


Bake at 350 degrees for 25-35 minutes. Wait until cool to cut into squares, then deliver to all the hotties. Best of luck!(: